Hillarious fiction by an ex-Bush speech writer

How My Party Lost Its Way

One really must take the whole article at once to fully appreciate the extreme lack of understanding of reality the man wallows in.

The mission of the article is obstinately to explain the downfall of the Republican party. It brushes up against that just enough to remove some lint but never really pushes against the established grain.

And in the end, when he finally decides on a unifying figure for the Grand Old Party to rally around, it's Hillary Clinton.

Nothing like shared hatred to base your party's political philosophy on, no? So all they need do now is get her elected to president for life and they're all set.

But what would a post be without a few choice excerpts? The articles not long, two short pages in fact, because, well, you know, there's nothing really wrong with the GOP a little community hate aimed directly at Hillary Clinton can't cure.

What caused the Republican unraveling? It began with the Bush administration itself. Through the intense experiences of 9/11, Afghanistan and Iraq, the Republican Party became closely identified with President Bush—and President Bush became closely identified with Iraqi violence and chaos. The slow response to rising sectarian conflict in 2005 and 2006 left an impression of stubbornness in a losing cause. Every element of the Republican coalition the president had offended during his political rise—budget hawks, anti-immigration activists, libertarian critics of compassionate conservatism—felt liberated and emboldened by Bush's weakness, and reasserted their claim on the party's future. The president's embrace of the surge in Iraq has dramatically improved the situation—but the damage was done. The cracks in the Bush coalition began spreading.

See? It was all just a misunderstanding! All because Bush was identified with Iraq, well because he started it, ran it and is pretty much solely responsible as Commander in Chief for it. And then, well, gosh golly, the Republican party itself was wrongly identified with blindly supporting Bush and all his failed war policies. I guess, silly as it can be, because they DID blindly support his failed war policies as long as he blindly supported their outrageous spending habits.

There's cursory mention of Republican fiscal malfeasance but it's a thin, bitter gruel.

But of course, the ender is the caper;

...there is, perhaps, one large American political figure who could cause depressed, fractious Republicans to bind their wounds, downplay their divisions, renew their purpose, and join hands in blissful unity at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Republican convention.

And that figure is Hillary Clinton.

Ah yes, the gold old fashioned shared hatred the modern GOP was built on and rose them to power in the first place. Just think if hating Bill Clinton as much as they did got them in power in 1994, just think what hating Hillary could allow them to accomplish!

Personally, I'm dying to find out. Let's elect Hillary and have a newly reborn and refocused GOP. It's the least we can do for them.

And I do mean the least.